At some point today I sat down, took a long look around me and realized that my life is a cartoon. Fun as that may sound I think it all depends on whether you end up being cast as the Wile E Coyote or the Road Runner in the never-ending 16" reel of life.
Frank returned late Saturday night after a week-long absence. He had been attending a work conference in San Fransisco and while I had been very anxious at the thought of an entire week on my own I settled into the brief 'alone-time' with more ease than I shall openly admit. A staple diet of chocolate cake and coffee for breakfast, lunch and supper no doubt helped.
I have always wondered however, why pharmaceutical companies do not add to warning labels alongside all the other common do's and don't's: DO NOT TAKE WITH ALCOHOL, DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY, DO NOT DRIVE WHILE TAKING THIS MEDICATION, the most important one;
DO NOT TAKE WITH COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SUGAR?
As most of you know I survive (by the skin of my teeth) on a daily cocktail of meds without which I would be living in a padded cell wearing one of those divine white Gothic shirts with all the buckles, gaily chattering to myself. Instead I take my meds, try and keep a regular schedule and claw my way through the day. Large doses of sugar and caffeine certainly do not help.
Neither do large tracks of 'alone-time'.
As a result I spent the week upending the entire house. Every stick of furniture, unsuspectingly minding its own business, found itself rudely uprooted and displaced from its comfortable dust nest. Long forgotten kibbles and dried up peas that had quietly slipped off while no one was watching were roused from their quietude and a graveyard of kitten's chewed-up and laid-to-rest Q-tips were unearthed. This was no ordinary sugar high. When all had been wiped down and kitten had retrieved all manner of lost treasures, it was time to put everything back. Of course putting things back the way they had been would have been to deny all sugar induced mania and so my darling husband arrived back to 'Wonderland' in all its glory.
All I can hope is that somehow his system will one day become immune to 'Alice' and that when he gets home to his wife wearing a kitten for a stole and walking her paralysed pekingese in a baby stroller, he'll simply doff his hat and good-naturedly remark to the neighbors: "Gracious, she simply never ceases to amaze me!"
A.